My name is Kristen. I live in Southern California. I love it here and the only other place I could imagine myself is on some ranch somewhere in northern California close to vineyards and rolling hills. I won’t mention the part where I want my own vineyard, I mean who doesn’t, right? Oh, and I suppose this would make me a dreamer.
I grew up in a very traditional middle class family with my mom and dad, and my little brother. We celebrated traditional Christian holidays. You could say I had a happy childhood. I had nothing to worry about until one day…my parents divorced. I was 15. It was shocking I tell ya! My life was turned upside down and I was confused on just how this all happened. Just like anything you get through it and move on, and yes a lot of positive things can come with even the hardest changes. Now here I am, mid to late 30’s, a mother of two little girls, divorced. Divorced. It took me a long time to say that word. I never thought that would be something I would ever say about myself. Without going in to the details regarding the confines of my marriage/divorce let’s just say it took time, confidence, a bit of courage, a few tears, and support from loved ones to get through what is divorce.
The main reason I started this blog was I wanted to show what I have learned about the journey one might take after divorce, how to get through the changes in your family, blending a family, moving on with your life, finding love, letting yourself grow, learning compassion and trust, loving someone else’s children without trying to be their parent and how to do it constructively, and so much more. The history of my experience briefly goes a little like this: I was a teenage girl when my parents separated. My dad remarried, and I have a great stepmom. My mom is my rock she has remained mostly single, but became a successful nurse after her marriage ended. When I married, he was divorced with a daughter and I became a wife and a stepmom. We solely raised her together from the age of 8 until she became an adult (she is now 23) and even then most of us parents know the raising doesn’t end at 18. After we married, we had 2 daughters. As the marriage didn’t work and as divorce goes, we separated late 2010 after 8 years of marriage.
That leads me here to this day in the fall of 2012. The real the nitty-gritty about this blog is that I am in my mid-30s and I have met the love of my life, and I say this because I truly have never experienced a relationship or a love of this caliber. I call him Surfer Boy for obvious reasons. He has 2 boys. They are wonderful. Part of this blog is how we are making it work. Who knows what the future holds, but we are overcoming obstacles, and finding time for us every once in a blue moon. We make mistakes and work together by communicating and actually talking things out! This is a newer concept for me and I like it. As time goes on, we only get better at it. At times I look at him and wonder how I got so lucky. It may sound cheesy, but that’s how it is. I want to share the truths of our relationship, how our love for one another and our children is as important as the salt is to the sea. This is our journey we are on and more under “The Salty Truth” section.
I share all about how I met Surfer Boy, and other interesting things about this man under “Surfer Boy” section. Sometimes that section I hope will include how his little surfer girl gets out on a 9 foot board braving the waves with him. This makes him happy, so I will paddle out with him every chance I get.
In “The Groms” section is where I talk about the kids. All four of them. All different, and how we are making it work for them, how we sometimes think we are screwing up, and what we have learned and I want everyone to know about that journey.
“Blending of the Grapes”, this name comes from my passion for wine. Not in the over the top hey look what I know about wine, just that I enjoy a nice glass every now and again or daily. Wine and cooking bring me joy. This section is where I wanted to share about how we are blending our families and children. It’s not picture perfect. Sometimes you get a sour grape in there sometimes the sugars don’t mix well, but every now and again after a bit of fermenting, and tender loving care, we get a nice bottle of wine (figuratively speaking of course).
“A Glass of Wine” is just about everything else. I love wine, and cooking. A dinner never goes uncooked without my trusty glass next to the cutting board. I love the outdoors, friends, and family are a huge part of my life. Check back in this section, have a glass of wine with me as I write about what randomly comes to mind on our unique journey.