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putting your cart ahead of the horse

This blog really started with Surfer Boy and I wanting to open a wine shop with a California-Surf, easy laid back theme, hence the name of the blog.  We even had a design laid out.  Look at that cart going a head of that horse!!  We’re not even married and we’re dreaming of our future dynasty.  Ya never know we may just make that wine shop happen someday.  I am determined!  I love how he lets me dream.  He just goes right along with it.

Shortly after my wine shop dreams, our relationship had moved in to having closer relationships with each other’s kids.  The high conflicts we experienced with his ex and my past experiences being a stepmom got me on the path of researching blended family blogs, high conflict exes, and Facebook pages.  That developed in to topics regarding the kids, us, what we’re up to, and how we sometimes make good things happen but trip a lot along the way.  I wanted this blog to shed some light on the fact that mistakes are made, but look and see you can make it work as long as you stay united as a couple.  You can either lock yourself in your room, decide that it’s just too hard, stomp your feet and whine a bit, or put your big girl panties on and fight to pull your sh!t together.  This blog began last year as a way to not only divulge the story that we are currently living, and maybe bits of the past, but I really wanted to admit to the hardships along with the triumphs (and fun) we face as parents, stepparents, and as a couple.  A lot of blogs and advice start when a couple is married, but you begin to work through all the issues when you start dating, and mingling the kids.  So here I am with my cart ahead of the horse.  I’m planning and preparing for the future, while enjoying the present and forgiving the past.

When I was younger, I honestly thought my life would be a lot less eventful.  Well the Big Man had other plans for me.  I am dreaming of new things, grandiose plans and getting my cart ahead of the horse. This is who I am.  I am a pushy assertive little thing (although I am not that little, I stand at 5-8).  I am a planner.  I am a dreamer.  I am driven and I have a lot of goals and things I want to do with my kids and for my kids.  One of the greatest things now is that I want to do them with three other people.  This is where I get ahead of the horse.  There is a lovely man that has to pull on my reigns to slow me down at times.  Thank God for him!  As unbalanced as we can sometimes feel, from time to time we certainly find a way to balance each other.

I know we have a huge future and life ahead of us.  I have to learn to take one thing at a time.  SB had to let me down a few weeks ago and tell me that we’re not ready to buy a camper yet. What?  I don’t see why not!  We have been on four camping trips together and have two planned this year already.  Just a little camper?  Come on, they don’t take up too much room, right?

Right now we are learning to become 2 new parents to 4 new kids and that doesn’t happen overnight.  All four of them are in different places as far as their relationships go with us.  Taking it slow and letting each of them figure it out on their own time allows that trust to develop.  Every week my girls ask me now:  “Are we going to see Surfer Boy tonight”?  That melts my heart.

Squirt’s mother is trying to alienate him from me.  Kids do see right through this stuff, but at the same time it confuses them.  I am very proud of this rose.  Squirt picked it for me on Easter. He and I have come a long way.

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Posted under: Surfer Boy

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