propecia headaches

getting settled ~ our blended home

Surfer Boy and I are getting married in just 35 or is it 36 days.  I am truly looking forward to this day.   We are having a quaint ceremony and reception at a historical home close to where we live.  Our family and closest friends will be there only.  Our children are our bridesmaids and groomsmen.  They are all looking forward to this day too.  Here are a few engagement pictures:

Engagement 2

Handsome!

Engagement

Engagement 1

We decided to settle in together right after we got engaged.  Since the school year was starting shortly after our engagement we made the move to live together right away. We moved in together in August about 11-12 weeks ago.   This way we were able to get the school year rolling for us all instead of transitioning partially through the school year. My girls love that I can walk them to school and can walk home.

Getting settled in our home has had its challenges but it has had plenty ah-ha moments too. The first 6-8 weeks were tough!  What a roller coaster ride!   I think the thing to keep in mind when blending your home is that you will instantly have a family.  That family consists of two families that are used to things a certain way and then all of sudden there is a new adult on each side and kids with their own dynamic, rules, ways they prefer things, things they like, and their own way of doing things.

We dated for over two years before so we had a general idea of the way our homes were run.  For us, taking our time seemed much more responsible and allowed our kids to get to know us and us to get to know each others kids.  Funny moments have been when Surfer Boy and I were able to joke around from time to time about going back to dating because it was so much more blissful then.  Our responsibilities were not combined and oh how easy that was…**dreaming**…  OK – Back to reality.  His youngest, Deuce has told me for wedding present he wants to have the garage cleaned out so my car can be parked in there.  Bless his heart.  The truth is I would not want to go back and I wouldn’t want to change our newly blended family for anything.  I am very proud of us.

I have had to do a bit of compromising with certain things.  Yes you have to budge a little.  It is hard to keep my mouth shut when his 14 year old son, Ace gets mouthy and tests his independence with his dad.  It’s hard for SB to be understanding of my eldest daughter who always has her head the clouds.  I have said before in my earlier posts that you have to allow the parent to parent their own child to avoid resentment and animosity by the kids and even towards each other.  The truth is it’s hard to hold back…it’s easier said than done.  It’s a balance between having the authority and demanding respect, yet respecting the feelings of everyone in the home.  There are moments when SB and I unite together, and other moments where we lose sight of this.  We not perfect and have tripped a little, but that is to be expected.  We get better at it with each passing day.  You are not on teams.  You are the husband and wife team. You are the two most important people in one another’s life.  Show affection all the time.  Forgive each other and show the other grace.  The kids will follow suit in this positive environment.  You bless them in ways you don’t see yet.

With that being said, I absolutely love this picture and refer to it often:

blended family

Some traditions we have established are going to the park in October to have a picnic lunch, visit the zoo, go fishing in the lake, and visit the pumpkin patch.  We have also done family movie night.  Tonight we are watching Disney’s Hocus Pocus, having pizza and ice cream.  Even though these grandiose plans of mine don’t always pan out perfect, our kids will have memories of good times when they’re older.  That’s all that matters.

Here is the picture from this years trip to the park.  You can find last years picture in an older post.

Pumpkin Patch 2013

 

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