Ex’s, kids and a crazy past can sure put a damper on things like trust. Sharing some of these experiences or problems in a blog is sometimes hard for me. I will say in the last two years it has been quite an accomplishment and sense of pride that Surfer Boy and I have really moved passed a lot of the struggles a relationship takes on after divorce. It takes perseverance to build a real faithful and trusting bond between two lovers. It takes patience, which I admit I am not so good at and selflessness which I am a little better at. Sometimes things are hard to figure out in the midst of a battle and it can seem that the walls are caving in. Just because it’s hard, doesn’t always mean it’s all negative. It’s life, and it’s real. Sometimes getting through these “moments” and having faith in each other leads to the most positive outcomes like building trust in one another, passion, and redefining love. This is not always an easy journey, and I will not paint a picture of ease. That would be an injustice to anyone that follows this blog, and anyone who wants to know what it’s like to blend a family. Surfer Boy and I have definitely had a journey of working on building trust. Trusting each other can have the biggest impact, and so can the lack of trust. Each situation and family is unique, just like any relationship is. Having faith in each other is what gives us the tools to overcome obstacles. Is our life together good? Yes! and I am very proud of this fact. Are we happy? Absolutely! I am crazy about this man. I feel so lucky and fortunate and wonder what did I do so good that I deserve him. We are still dealing with a high conflict bio-mother and I do not think that will stop anytime soon…*laugh, sigh*. That’s all you can do is smile, laugh at it a little bit and move on. Have faith that there is a purpose to all this that we cannot see or understand yet, but certainly we will someday.
Surfer Boy and I met, and in over two years have never given up on each other no matter what stones have been thrown at us or what hurdles we have had to jump over. We have held on through the rougher moments, and disagreements. We have forgiven each other at every turn. It has allowed us to grow and truly build that trust in one another. Surfer Boy and I have been talking a lot about our future lately. These conversations have kept us up quite late at night. Along with some scarred pasts, we have four beautiful children to consider. You can say that we have four major details to consider as we march forward. His huge heart has everyone’s best interest, while sometimes forgetting about his own self. Other times, it’s about his needs, which I must make sure we consider as well. It takes time and patience to bring two lives, with children together in perfect (or somewhat perfect) harmony. We’re not flighty young lovers that have no clue yet what it is going to take to hold a family together. We’re well aware of what it takes.
I will not discount the fact that even though we have had those down moments, the upside to what we overcome is what makes it all worth it. We have better communication, understanding and trust in one other because we have worked through our issues and being on the same page is important to both of us.
My favorite place to be with SB is at the beach. It’s like being in our own little world away from our homes. The bonus is that we both love being there. We can watch the ocean, people watch, or talk about whatever comes to mind. If something needs to be discussed, we discuss it, or just hold hands and sit together. When we paddle out in the water together we don’t talk much nor do we need too, it’s our time alone together. It’s that perfect silence we need while keeping an eye on each other. I definitely don’t surf as well as he does, but I am getting better!
I have faith in him, faith in Him, and faith in myself.